You Matter
On days when the earth quakes and hurricanes roar, fires burn out of control and floods overwhelm, it's easy to question our own significance. Tiny specks of humanity on the surface of an ever changing world, how is it possible that we matter at all? Maybe we don't . . .
Then why am I so obsessed with finding my own significance? How important is it to find one’s place in the world, after all? What is it in me that wants to say, "Look at me! I’m here and I matter!"
I couldn't say for sure, but I think there is something about contributing to the whole, to co-creating this life-giving world with God that calls one to search for the reason to be.
I have learned that what is most essential is that we just show up, and show up as fully as possible.
Once I attended a week-long training in which, as usual for me, I assumed no one was noticing me. I have this thing I do in groups where I feel like I’m invisible. I am usually most comfortable being invisible. It’s kind of like that magic cloak in Harry Potter; I wrap this imaginary cloak of invisibility around myself and think I can be with and among others without being seen.
So since in my mind I was invisible, I thought it did not really matter if I crept into sessions a little late, or missed them altogether, because no one else would even notice, much less miss me. I really believed that my presence was completely insignificant to the group. In fact, I didn't think about it at all until the training focused on how important it is to show up. And more than that, how important how we show up is.
Suddenly it felt as though a huge, glaring spotlight was shining directly on me. On one level it was disturbingly uncomfortable. I felt guilty and ashamed for the lack of respect I had shown the trainers, the training, and the other participants by my lack of full participation in the process. Worse still, I wasn't valuing my own presence.
But on another level, the sudden deep realization that my presence mattered, really mattered, not only to me but to everyone else in the group, was stunning. I mattered! There was something about the way I was showing up, or not showing up, that was impacting the experience of the others, not to mention my own experience.
That lesson brought to mind another time when I was asked in all sincerity, "Do you think what we do here really matters?" And I responded in confidence and with full conviction, but perhaps with less than complete understanding, "Yes. And no."
You see, I have faith that God’s loving purposes will work themselves out, with us or without us individually, so in that sense what we do here doesn't matter much. But I also believe we have been given an opportunity to join in the work of creation, to show up and to show up fully, and in that sense what we do here, and more importantly, who we are here matters more than anything.
Coaching Questions:
- What would it take for you to show up fully?
- What unique contribution is yours to make in this world?
- How can you be more fully present to your work, to your relationships and to your own true self?